Since I became a follower of Jesus (33 years ago), I have always known that I was imperfect. Yeah, I know. I'm sure you're shocked and disappointed to hear that.
Over the years, my growth as a disciple has ebbed and flowed, waned and waxed. While there has been forward movement, I can't say that I have been completely consistent in my pursuit of the holy life - the one which we are called to live.
And yet, I know that I have grown a tremendous amount since that day I first committed myself to being under Jesus' lordship. Through deep study of and meditation on His Word, and by putting into practice at least a portion of what I've learned, I've become who I am today.
But from time-to-time it becomes glaringly apparent that I am far from complete. "What now?" you ask.
Well, I'm considering a few things that I have had the tendency to ignore previously.
Here's one...
"I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead." (Phil 3:10a NLT) I'm okay with that. I'm excited by that. I really do want that.
But it's the next sentence that gets my goat: "I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death..." Am I okay with that? Does that excite me? Do I really want that? I'm not so sure.
And what about when Paul says, "...and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution." (2 Tim 3:12) Have I really experienced that? I mean REALLY? Truth be told, any "persecution" that I may have suffered for being a follower of Jesus amounts to nothing. Only words. Nothing of substance.
Jesus himself tells us, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23 NIV) How prepared am I to deny myself on a daily basis? I'm reticent at best.
So here I am - an incomplete disciple - not having disciplined myself to the fullest extent of Christ's expectations.
Still got a long way to go.
